A Bunker Thanksgiving
by nannygirl
Summary: Archie and Stephanie prepare for Edith, Gloria, and Joey to come home for Thanksgiving. All is well until a snow storm in Chigaco delays the plane. Will they make it home on time?What'll happend to dinner? And who are the special guest stars?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello All! Well as you all know the holiday season is, to quote Mr. A. Bunker "once again at our throats" and as I don't think I'll be able to write a Christmas themed story this year as I had hoped. Getting caught up in school work, will be taking my first college final exam unless you count last year when I won 50 dollar for creating a business plan but any woo…I decided to try my hand at a Thanksgiving one. I didn't plan on it being so long, but I really enjoyed writing it. _

_Oo one thing, this story does follow my last one, but you do not have to read it, all you have to know is Mike and Gloria are not together and Edith is staying in California to help Gloria look after Joey, probably won't stay like that for long you now me everyone has to have a happy ending!_

_So here's my holiday gift to you all! Enjoy!_

_BTW I own nothing!_

**Thanksgiving **

"Hey kiddo, get down here it's time for dinner!" Archie called upstairs to his niece as he placed the frying pan on the kitchen table. With Edith still over in California the two had been eating takeout for weeks, with only a handful of days of home cooked meals made by Stephanie or Archie; neither tasting that great.

"I didn't hear the doorbell ring." The twelve year old girl said as she bounced down the stairs.

"Nah, nah no eatin' out tonight." Archie told her.

"Well I only thought so, because of the smell." Stephanie continued, "I thought you burned what you were making and then ordered pizza. Again."

Archie frowned as he watched the young girl take a seat, "Don't youse know when something is bad for one sense it's better for the others?"

Stephanie's face dropped as she saw the black almost charcoal dinner in front of her, "The only sense this meal is good for is hearing."

Archie's frown increased, "Was that a shock?"

Before Stephanie could answer the phone rang in the other room; quickly she ran off to answer it.

"Hello," she greeted the person on the other line as her uncle pushed open the swinging door, "Hi Aunt Edith." Stephanie continued smiling away as Archie quickly made his way to the phone and started to take the phone away from her.

"Uncle Archie's trying to poison me!" she cried to her aunt before her uncle finally grabbed the phone away from her.

Archie frowned at Stephanie, then looked over at the kitchen remembering the charcoal loaf he'd taken out of the oven, he sighed as he looked back at the dark haired girl, "Go use the upstairs phone to order the pizza." He instructed her and she dashed upstairs a smile across her face.

A small smile returned to his face as he placed the phone next to his ear to talk to his wife.

"Hiya Edith."

"Oh hello Archie!" Edith said happily before changing her tone to a somewhat confused tone, "Why did Stephanie say youse was poisoning her?"

Archie quickly tried to come up with something, "Uh she didn't say poisoning she said josioning." he said saying that last word so fast Edith would have never understood it and even if she did she wouldn't be able to ask as her husband quickly changed the subject, "Um how's everything over there?"

"Oh everything's just fine." Edith said smiling happy to hear her husbands voice, "Oh and guess what!"

"What?"

"Oh no you gotta guess."

"Edith," Archie frowned, "I don't wanna guess."

"But you gotta." Edith began, "Otherwise I woulda just told youse and not said guess."

"Edith I ain't gonna waste my time on guessing."

"But Archie, if you took a guess youse could get it right the first time and youse wouldn't have to guess again so youse wouldn't be wasting time." Edith explained

Archie's frown increased, "Edith you're wasting my time and money! Now just tell me the damn news."

Even though she could hear some annoyance in her husband's tone Edith still smiled as she gave him her exciting news, "We're gonna be able to spend Thanksgiving together!"

Archie's annoyed expression quickly changed to a jovial one, "Yeah?!"

"Yeah." Edith said smiling away, "I talked to Gloria and she says she's gonna be out for vacation during that time so me, Gloria, and Joey are all going to New York for Thanksgiving!"

"Oh ho ho! That's great Edith." Archie told his wife a smile quickly appearing on his face.

"Oh I know. I can't wait to be back home!" Edith shared, "To see everyone. Stephy, Barney, Harry, Hank, the O'Brian's oh at Linda down at Ferguson…"

"I think you're leaving out someone."

"Who?"

Archie frowned, "What do you mean who? Me!"

"Ooohhh Arrrchie! I'm sorry! Of course I can't wait to see you! I miss you most of all."

Archie's frown decreased as his wife went on.

"Oh it's gonna be so nice to be back home. To cook in my own kitchen, to sit my own chair, to sleep in our bed…"

"You know Edith, once you get here maybe we could do more then sleeping in our bed." He said hoping she would understand what his point was.

And she did, "Oh Archie." She said bashfully

"What? Your cold side of the bed is starting to spread over to mine." Archie began, "Think we better _warm_ it up a bit."

"Oh Archie, I…" Edith began but then a little boy's voice was heard calling "grandma" and she sighed some before continuing, "I gotta go."

"Yeah ok."

The two had been through enough interruptions like that and were used to it. So they simply said their goodbye and went on with their lives across the country.

"What do you mean the bar's gonna be closed for Thanksgiving?" Barney asked.

Archie had just shared the plans of closing the bar for Thanksgiving, but not yet the reason why, and his friends weren't too happy about it.

"Yeah what about your whole Thanksdrinking?" Hank questioned

"Shots for everything your thankful and not thankful for."

"Yeah well that'll still happen, just not here." Archie simply said from behind the bar and the three other men started to complain.

Then Harry had an idea "Hey Arch what if I stay here and run the bar? This Thanksdrinking was gonna bring in some big bucks."

"Yeah." The two other men agreed but Archie frowned

"Are you kidding? A blond dame walks in and a guy could ask for the bar and you'd give it to him." Archie proclaimed and Harry frowned. "Come on youse guys, I ain't gonna keep the bar open when Edith and the kids are gonna be in town…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Edith's coming into town?"

"Well why didn't you say so?"

"Well I…" Archie began.

"And leave it to Edith to invite us over to Thanksgiving dinner when she just got back into town." Barney stated aloud

Archie's frown grew as he heard his friends' assumptions "Wait a minute youse guys…" he tried but it was no use.

"And that's what happened." Archie finished.

It was the next day and Archie was once again on the phone with his wife, this time he was explaining the scene that happened at the bar with the guys.

"Ooohhh Arrrchie." Edith said happily and her husband frowned.

"What are youse 'Ooohhh Archie-ing' me for?"

Edith smiled on the other end, "Youse didn't want to tell them no, cause you'd feel bad and youse wanted them to be there for Thanksgiving dinner."

"Edith I think you're forgetting about the plans we had with just the two of us…" Archie began while frowning

"But Gloria, Stephy, and Joey are gonna be there." Edith pointed out

"Sure but all youse gotta do is tell Gloria to take the kids out for ice cream and they're gone; these guys don't leave till closing time!" Archie complained and Edith frowned as she shook her head.

"I think it'll be nice to have everyone there for Thanksgiving. The more the merrier." Edith stated, "Besides it don't matter who's there, all that matters is we're gonna be able to spend Thanksgiving together."

"Yeah."

"And we're gonna spend a couple of days over in New York so you can spend time with Joey and your little girl."

"Yeah." Archie said now in a better mood.

Edith noticed the change and decided now was a good time to tell him the thing she needed to him, "And since Harry, Hank, and Barney are coming over for dinner they can help you when you go shopping for Thanksgiving."

"Ye…wha?!"

"And since Harry, Hank, and Barney are coming over for dinner they can help you…"

"I heard you this first time!" Archie exclaimed, "What do you mean when I go shopping for Thanksgiving?!"

"Well ever since we got married I've gone shopping for Thanksgiving five days before Thanksgiving except on them Thanksgivings I didn't cook because I didn't need to get nothing, like when Gloria was carrying Joey and was cooking her first Thanksgiving dinner at her own house and…" Edith rambled on

"Edith I was there, get on with point!"

"Gloria's exam dates are close to Thanksgiving and alotta the flights was booked so the only one we could find was, one that would get us there the day before Thanksgiving." She explained

"So just do the shopping over there; just don't get none of that oranic crap they sell over there I don't want no kung fu turkey." Archie said sternly.

"But Archie…"

"Listen Edith if youse can bring a turkey on the plane when we flew out there for Christmas youse can do it for Thanksgiving!"

"But Archie it's more then the turkey I need to get." Edith started, "It would just be easier and cheaper if youse went."

"Edith I ain't…."

"It'll be easy Archie I'll just give you the list over the phone and all you'll have to do is go buy it." Edith proclaimed and Archie thought for a few minutes.

"You know what, I think I gotta an easier way."

"I'm not going to the store for you." Stephanie Mills told her uncle never looking up from her homework.

She and Archie were sitting at the dinning room, Archie had just come home and Stephanie was doing her homework.

"Why not?!"

"I've got an essay to do that's due on Tuesday, and Aunt Edith wants you to go on Sunday."

Archie frowned, "How do youse know that?"

"We've got two phones not two lines." Stephanie stated

Archie frowned but then shook it off as he continued to try and convince his niece to go to the store for him, "Alright how about if I help you with your essay here youse go out to the store for me?"

Stephanie thought for a few seconds, "Ok." She finally agreed, "My essay has to answer these questions." She informed him showing him a sheet of paper.

"Now let's see here." Archie said as he put his glasses on and looked at Stephanie's paper, "Explain the first Thanksgiving between the Pilgrims and the Indians…" he read and glared at the paper, "Pilgrims and the Indians? The first Thanksgiving was between the cowboys and Indians, right after their big war, they all decided to get along and have a big meal; after the cowboys won that is…why do you think that there team plays every Thanksgiving?"

Stephanie stared at her uncle, "No it was the Pilgrims see…" she said before showing Archie a paragraph in her book that talked about the first thanksgiving.

"That was just a test and youse passed." He quickly recovered as he went on to the next question, "'Why did the Pilgrims want to break away from the Catholic Church?' To get away from the Pope." He said not giving it a second thought

Stephanie watched Archie for a few seconds to see if he was joking but when she didn't see anything, she gathered her papers.

"Hey where you going?!" Archie practically shouted

"Upstairs." She plainly said as she left the kitchen and Archie followed close behind.

"Wait a minute when are youse gonna go to the store?"

"When I finish my paper." She called from upstairs before closing her door.

Archie frowned, "Listen Rosemarie you better finish up with that paper cause I ain't going to the store, case closed!"

"Ah geeze…" Archie groaned as he and Barney walked into the overcrowded grocery store; most of the shoppers being women

"Looks like Edith's not the only one who does her Thanksgiving shopping five days earlier." Barney stated looking at his surroundings.

"Yeah, she musta told half the women here her story so they thought they'd come too." Archie said before chuckling and the two men began to walk around

"Now let's see first things first." Archie began as he got a yellow piece of paper out of his coat pocket, "'Turkey'." he read "Alright we can do that."

"Sure we can." Barney agreed and then frowned, "Hey Arch how come I came with you?"

"Cause youse volunteered."

"No I didn't."

"Well cause if youse don't help shop, you don't get to come to dinner." Archie tried

"Then how come Harry and Hank aren't here?" he questioned and Archie frowned.

"Shut up and help me find the damn turkey!" Archie exclaimed

The duo walked in silence for a while until they found what they were looking for.

"Hey there it is." Barney said while pointing at a large pack of women who seemed to be arguing as others tired their best to get what they were after, above them a sign read "Turkeys."

"Geeze…" Archie groaned as he watched the scene before him, "Well youse better get a good one."

Barney frowned, "Me?"

"Yeah you."

"Why?"

Thinking for only a few minutes Archie came up with a excuse "I'm a married man, sticking my hand in that there crowd…I cold touch something I ain't suppose to! Youse don't wanna do that to poor Edith do yas?"

Barney frowned as he replayed his friends words, "I'm only doing it for Edith." He said before placing his arm through the crowd.

"'Suce me, sorry, pardon me…"he said a number of times before finally getting out. "It's no use Arch the turkeys are to far back."

"Ah bologna." Archie began, "Your arms are just too short." He said before taking his turn in searching for a turkey following Barney's idea. Archie, however quickly pulled his arm away looking at the crowd in disbelief.

"What happened?"

"Someone in there tried to steal my watch!"

Both men looked back at the crowd.

"Hey you know last minute shoppers are pretty smart too." Barney said aloud making Archie turn around at the look at him

"What are you talking about?!"

"Think about it," he began, "when they come anything that's left, is on sale since they wanna get rid of the stuff, and everyone's already done their shopping early, so no one'll be here."

Archie raised an eyebrow as he took his friends words into consideration.

"I knew I brought youse for a reason."

And with that the two left the store not planning to come back until the last minute.

TUESDAY

Archie had just sat down in his chair with the newspaper when the piercing ring of the phone rang in his ears.

"I got it!" Stephanie cried as she ran to the phone in hopes of it being one of her friends and her uncle gave a small sigh of relief as he didn't have to get up from his seat. "Hello?" she asked into the phone.

Archie leaned over so he could hear his nieces' conversation and read his paper at the same time.

"Hi Aunt Edith!" she greeted and Archie gave a small smirk after learning his wife was on the other line.

"I wanna talk to her when you're done." Archie demanded more then suggested but Stephanie just waved her hand at him causing his to frown.

"I'm fine. How are you?" she asked and then there was a pause, "Yeah he's fine. Uh-hu…almost…" then there was a longer pause, "I don't know, I'll ask him." Then the young girl turned her attention to her uncle, "Aunt Edith wants to know if you bought the food for Thanksgiving on Sunday."

Archie's eyes soon became wide "Uh…" he said as he sprang to his feet and rushed over to the phone. "Gimme the phone." He demanded the little girl.

Stephanie simply looked at him, "Yeah, I don't think he got it." She told her aunt.

"Tell her I did and I'll give you five bucks." Archie offered.

Stephanie thought over this, "Can I have a beer?"

"No!" Archie shouted

"I don't remember seeing him come home with any grocery bags…"

"Ten dollars!" her uncle tried again.

"Can I sleep over at Jenn's house next Friday?" Steaphie asked covering the mouthpiece of the phone.

"The Friday Edith's here?" Archie asked abit surprised.

"Yeah." That was the reason she knew she would not get the 'ok'

And Archie wasn't going to give her the 'ok' until he realized it would be one less person that would be in the house when he wanted to spend some alone time with his wife. "Done." he said almost too quickly.

"Ooohhh yeah!" Stephanie said sounding like her aunt into the phone, "I'm pretty sure he got it." Then there was a pause, "Yeah…uh-hu…" then she turned to Archie pulling the phone away from her ear and handing it to her uncle, "She wants to talk to you."

"Ah geeze." Archie groaned as he took the phone "Hiya Edith." He greeted into the phone then there was a pause. "Course I got the groceries just like youse asked me to, on Monday…"

"Sunday!" Stephanie shouted

"Sunday." Archie covered up and once again there was another pause as he listened to Edith, "Nah the kid just uh…she was at school when I came home with the bags, so she didn't see 'em."

Stephanie smacked her hand on her head but it went unseen by her uncle.

"Youse all ready for the trip tomorrow?" he asked trying to change the subject and was successful only as he did this she went on with a very long story. "Yeah…uh hu…I… Edith I gotta go!" he shouted into the phone and then realized what he'd done, "Uh the kid needs help with her homework."

"Yeah I love you too, say hi to the kids for me. Yeah I'll do that. Yeah I'll see youse tomorrow goodbye." And then he placed the phone back on the receiver, letting out a sigh as he walked back to his chair.

Stephanie watched him as he sat down, "Are you ok?"

Archie looked over at her while frowning, "Yeah sure, why?"

"Well you don't have the groceries Aunt Edith told you to get on Sunday_ and_ you told her you did_ and_ Aunt Edith is coming home tomorrow."

"Ah." Archie groaned, "Listen kiddo, don't youse worry about that. I've got that all under control, this year we're doing last minute shopping, right before Edith's plane gets in at noon. She'll never find out, everything will be fine"

WEDNESDAY 10:00 AM

Stephanie Mills slept peacefully in her room, it was the first day of Thanksgiving vacation and she had no plans of waking up before noon. The quietness of room was soon broken as her uncle came bursting through her door not even bothering to knock.

"Ok Rosemarie get up, come on." He told her as he shook her and she began to stir.

"Why?" she asked groggily as she squinted her eyes from the brightness of the sun coming from the window Archie had opened.

"Here put this on." Archie demanded as he handed his niece two pieces of clothing he absently grabbed from her closet.

Stephanie stared at the clothes in her hands, "This is a bathing suit top and pajama bottoms."

Archie frowned, "Almost looks just like what youse kids are wearing these days." He said as he headed for the door.

"What's going on?" Stephanie asked still confused

"It's 10 in the morning, Edith's plane gets in at noon we gotta be there at 11:30 and we still ain't gone to the groceries." Archie explained hastily as he once again tried for the door.

"I thought you said '_don't youse worry about that. I've got that all under control, this year we're doing last minute shopping right before Edith's plane gets in at noon. She'll never find out, everything will be fine' _hmm?" she asked mockingly

Archie frowned, "I never said nothing like that. Now get dressed!" he said as he finally escaped the young girl's room not seeing her eye roll.

FREGUSON'S MARKET 10:45 AM

Stephanie and Archie walked in from the dreadful outside cold and into the dreadful crowds that filled the market. Archie stopped in his tracks as he saw the scene before him as Steaphie grabbed a shopping cart.

"What the hell is this?" he asked not expecting a response, "It looks like it did when I came on Sunday."

"Maybe they overheard your brilliant plan." Stephanie said sarcastically and Archie frowned.

"Never mind that. What's the first thing on the list?"

Stephanie looked down at the yellow paper, "The turkey."

"Alright the turkey." Archie said as he began to walk to the area where the turkeys were, leaving Stephanie to push the basket. "That shouldn't be too hard." He said just before seeing a crowd over by the turkeys that seemed all too familiar to him. "Well youse better get a good one." He told Stephanie while pushing her slightly.

"Me? Why?" she asked, "You're the one that didn't buy it when you were supposed to."

"Me?" it was Archie's turn to ask a question, "I told youse to go!"

"After Aunt Edith told you to go." She shot back and soon the two began to argue; however before they could get too into it, a shouting woman ran in between them.

"I got it! I got the last turkey! It's mine! I got the last turkey!" she screamed.

Stephanie's face was full of shock as Archie's was full of confusion.

"What does she mean by that?" he asked but Stephanie gave no answer so he moved over to the women who were sluggishly moving away from where there used to be a pile of turkeys. "Hey what's going on?" he asked a woman with big blond hair and dark blue eye shadow, she frowned at him.

"Wha are ya death?!" she asked, "That woman got the last turkey."

Now Archie became alarmed, "Last turkey? Until when?"

"Until next thanksgiving."

"Next thanksgiving? I need a turkey for _this_ Thanksgiving." He said

The woman looked at Archie like he was crazy as she moved away. "Ah geeze, what am I gonna do now?" he asked

"Well," Stephanie began "you could go back in time and go to the store and buy the stuff on Sunday."

Archie frowned, "Where do you get that attitude?"

Before Stephie could say anything a familiar voice was heard calling her uncle's name.

"Hey Arch!"

Both Archie and Stephanie turned around to see Barney Hefner coming their way.

"Barney what the hell are youse doing here?" he asked

"I was at the bar and…" Barney began but Stephanie interuptment.

"It's eleven in the morning, you were at the bar?"

"Hey that there money he's paying for the beer is going to your college." Archie pointed out.

Stephanie shook her head as her uncle tried to find out the reason for Barney's appearance.

"Wha's the matter?"

"Edith called…" Barney began to explain

"Ah geeze..." Archie said expecting to find out she was already at the airport.

"She and the kids are stuck in Chicago."

Archie's eye reopened as he heard his friends' words, "Ah thank you Lord I owe youse big!" he said skyward causing Barney to look at him with confusion.

"Uh, Arch you did hear me right?"

"Yeah, yeah I heard youse Barn and it's the best news I heard all day." Archie noticed Barney's expression had yet to change so he went on to explain, "Now since Edith ain't coming in till later we've got more time to find a turkey."

"You haven't bought a turkey yet?!" Barney asked surprised

"No, thanks to your brilliant last minute plan, we got here just when some woman got the last turkey!" Archie explained.

"The last turkey?" Barney asked confused, "Until when?"

"Until next Thanksgiving!"

"Geeze Arch," Barney began "I don't wanna be there when you tell Edith about this."

"Oh ho ho, you're gonna be there alright. Youse are gonna be the one to tell her." Archie stated in a not at all suggesting tone.

"Me? Why me?"

"Youse were the one who said to come back for the last minute shopping!" Archie protested.

"Yeah but I didn't wanna come in the first place!" his friend shot back

"Well…" Archie started but was interrupted by a woman trying to get to where Archie and Barney where standing.

"Excuse me." She said and the two moved away and so she moved in between the two men

Barney continued the argument as Archie watched the woman take two small chickens from the freezer and then walk away.

"Hold it a minute Barn." he said, "Look at that."

Barney followed where Archie was motioning and saw the woman walk away "Geeze Arch you're a married man and Edith is coming home today!"

Archie frowned, "Not that you dope, the chickens!"

"What about them?"

Instead of saying anything Archie turned around only to reappear with a rather small but whole chicken in his hands, "What do youse to think, can it pass as a turkey?"

"Yeah," Stephanie began staring at her uncle, "if you washed it in hot water."

"Dummy up youse." Archie instructed, "Come on Barn, this'll work won't it?"

Barney frowned at the frozen bird, "I don't know Arch, the kid's got a point; it is pretty small."

"Alright, alright so we'll get two chickens instead of one turkey. And that's gotta be a better buy." Archie said in a confident tone.

"Hey I know, get three and then when they're gonna get cooked, cook 'em all together so they look like a turkey." Barney added as Archie put in the two chickens.

"Yeah, yeah, good point; get me one will ya?"

Just as Archie put in the third bird Stephanie spoke up, "They're still gonna taste like chicken."

"So? Everything tastes like chicken." Archie told her and Stephanie looked at him with confusion, "What do they say frog legs taste like?"

"Chicken."

"How about them snakes that live underwater?" Archie asked referring to eels luckily his niece understood him.

"Chicken."

"See so everything tastes like chicken!" Archie argued.

"Except turkeys."

Archie dropped his head, why was this kid so complicated?

"Hey I know what you can do Arch." Barney stated

"What?" Archie asked not sounding at all enthusiastic.

"Just get some of those slices of turkey they use in the sandwiches and have Edith bake the chickens with the slices of turkey over them; that way the chickens will act like a sponge and you know soak up the turkey taste so they'll taste like turkey." Barney suggested

Both Archie and Stephanie looked at him each with their own look of confusion.

"That's gotta be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard!" Archie exclaimed, "Geeze…" he groaned as he ran his hand down his face then he got an idea, "Hey I know we'll get some of those slices of turkey they use in them sandwiches and then have Edith bake the chickens with the slices of turkey over them; so that the chickens will act like a sponge and then soak up the turkey taste so they'll taste like turkey."

It was then Archie's turn to get puzzled looks.

"What? Don't give me them looks, get moving, we've got a whole list of things to get." Instructed Archie before taking off to find the next item on the list, Barney followed figuring his neighbor was going to need his help.

Stephanie watched the two older men walk ahead, leaving her with the basket; she took a deep breath, "This must be what the Pilgrims went through when the Indians were out of town." She said to herself before taking off in the same direction Archie and Barney took off in.

Archie Bunker and his niece entered the Hauser home each of them holding one brown paper bag.

"See I told youse we could do it." Archie told his niece as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Last year Aunt Edith came home with nine bags we only came home with two." Stephie said as she placed her bag on the table.

Archie thought for a few seconds, "Yeah you're right." He agreed as put his hand to his chin to show he was deep in thought, "Come on lets go over the list again, make sure we got everything."

Stephanie sighed as she saw her uncle take out his reading glasses and the famous yellow paper from his coat pocket.

"Alright 'turkey'." He read

"All four things."

Archie frowned before going on, "Things to make pumpkin pie…"

"Replaced with pumpkin pie in a can." Stephanie said taking out the orange can from the bag. "Aunt Edith makes hers from scratch."

"Yeah but look at the list of ingredients she has on here for it," Archie said showing her the list, "I had to have saved twenty bucks with that there can!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes as her uncle read the next time item. "Stuffing." She then pulled out a box of it.

"Aunt Edith makes this from scratch too."

Archie frowned as he looked passed her comment and "Corn."

Stephanie took out a can of Green Giant corn. "Aunt Edith…"

Archie frowned, "What, you gonna tell me Edith's growing the corn in the backyard?!"

"No, but she asked for corn on a cob not corn in a can." Stephanie stated

"So we'll put 'em on a chop stick and no one'll no the difference!" he said defensively, "Now the cranberry sauce."

Stephanie sighed as she reached into the bag and pulled out a can, "The one thing we got that's actually on the list." She said aloud.

"See we did pretty good."

"The only things that would survive a nuclear bomb would be cockroaches and cans of this stuff." She stated, "I'm going upstairs to take a nap." She announced as she left the kitchen with her uncle following her close behind.

"Alright," Archie said figuring she did deserve some rest, "but not too long we gotta go pick up Edith in thirty minutes." He informed from the bottom of the stairs as she climbed the last of them.

"Ok. Ok.' She said wanting desperately to take a nap.

Seconds after Stephanie disappeared to her room the phone rang.

"Yeah hello?" Archie said into the phone without, surprisingly, giving a groan or negative remark before picking up the receiver.

"Hello Archie!" Edith greeted

Archie's eyes became wide as he heard his wife's voice, "Uh hiya Edith I'm already on my way to the airport only a few blocks away."

Edith frowned, "But I called you on the house phone." She said in a more questioning tone.

"Ugh yeah, what I meant was, I was a few blocks away but then I had a feeling that youse was gonna call so I turned around and came right on back home." Archie recovered.

"Oh, well I'm glad youse came back cause we're still in Chicago."

"Yeah I'm on my way…wha? You're still in Chicago?"

Edith nodded, "Yeah. The snow is coming down hard and they ain't letting no one leave on any planes."

"Ah geeze." Archie groaned

Edith sighed before going on, "We may not leave till much later in the evening."

"How the kids taking it?"

"Oh Gloria's doing fine, she's happy to be able to relax, Joey's a little fussy." Edith informed him.

"When do they say the next flight out here's gonna be?" Archie asked and he then heard his wife sigh

"They say later on tonight if we're lucky."

"Holy geeze," Archie growled "One snowflake falls and six hundred flights are cancelled."

Edith shook her head as she got ready to tell Archie what she had been avoiding, "Archie, could you do me a favor?"

"Edith I just did youse a favor today…I mean Sunday." Archie protested.

"But this one won't be nothing like that." Edith tried to convince him, "All you gotta do is take the turkey out of the fridge if we ain't there by ten o'clock, that way it'll be ready to cook in the morning.

Archie raised an eyebrow as he thought about the chickens he'd bought, they probably wouldn't need the whole night to defrost heck they probably only needed an hour or two. "That all?" he asked not believing it could be that simple.

"Yeah." His wife said cheerfully, "Unless we don't get a flight till tomorrow."

Archie dropped his head as Edith went on with her point.

"Then you might have to get started on cooking dinner."

"Me?! Why?"

"Well ever since I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal I've always started at ten in the morning…" Edith explained

"So, you'll do it when youse come in."

"But what if I don't get in till after ten?" Edith questioned

"Aw come on Edith, youse can do it, I know it and you know it and … hey remember that Christmas youse broke your ankle youse still got dinner on the table remember?"

Edith thought back to that Christmas, "Oh Archie I don't know. I mean if I start late, we wouldn't have Thanksgiving dinner until later on."

"Alright so we'll call it Thanksgiving dessert." Archie stated.

"If we did that," Edith began, "we wouldn't have that much time together." She reminded her husband

It worked.

"What'll I have to do?"

Edith smiled before she gave instructions "It'll be easy; all you gotta do is go to the cabinet next to the shelf where we keep the plates, open it and get the recipe box on the second shelf, but the one on the left cause the one on the right are the ones for Christmas dinner, and in that recipe box the one on the left not the Christmas ones, you'll find all the recipes you'll need from the turkey to the pumpkin pie!" she said happily

Archie sighed, "Geeze youse can give me directions to a box of recipes but you can't give me directions to our daughters condo." He said mostly to himself but he knew his wife had heard when she released a laugh.

"Oh thank you for doing this Archie, it won't be that hard."

Archie frowned, "I don't know Edith I mean…" he looked over to the swinging door that lead to the kitchen, "I ain't gonna be able to make a turkey with any of them recipes you've got in that box there."

"Oh sure you will, all you gotta do is follow the recipe step by step!" Edith exclaimed, "And you might not even have to do it at all." She reminded him.

"But Edith I…" Archie began.

"Oh Archie I gotta go I don't wanna use all my change up, and then not be able to call youse when we get a flight." Edith said already getting ready to hang up.

"Edith don't youse hang up unless youse know you're coming home tonight!"

"I'll talk to you later Archie, I love you, goodbye."

And then she was gone leaving Archie to call out her name loudly, while knowing there was no way she could hear him.

Meanwhile at the airport Edith walked back to the seating area where Gloria, who was skimming through the new Cosmopolitan, and Joey, who ran his toy cars up and down on the arms of the chairs, sat neither one looking too happy.

"How'd Daddy take it?" Gloria asked looking up from her magazine as she saw her mother sit down in a seat.

"Well…" Edith said and then began to struggle to find the right words.

"That bad huh?" she asked and all Edith could do was nod.

Back at 704 Hauser, Archie had given up on calling Edith's name and almost slammed the phone down back on the receiver.

"Hey kid did youse hear that?!" Archie called upstairs knowing very well what the answer would be.

"We have two phones and two lines!" Stephanie yelled back, changing the words she said a few days ago, obviously lying.

Archie's frown increased as he climbed the stairs getting ready to have a talk with his niece.

Minutes later at the airport in Chicago Edith Bunker and her daughter continued to wait for their flight with each of them reading a different magazine, while Joey sat between them looking as bored as any child would be in his situation.

He looked over at his grandmother and then at his mother and then back and forth trying to decide who to bother first; finally he decided, "Mommy, I'm hungry."

Gloria removed the magazine from her face and onto her lap, "Joey, you just got a snack a few minutes ago."

"But I'm still hungry." He whined and his mother sighed.

"Alright lets go." She said as she got ready to take her son back to the vending machines.

"Oh Gloria I'll take him." Edith said knowing how tired her daughter must feel.

"Are you sure ma?"

"Oh yeah. Come on Joey." Edith began, "We'll be right back." She went on as she grabbed her grandsons' hand and they headed over to machines.

It didn't take long for the two to reach the vending machines; as Joey even though he was holding his grandma's hand was in the lead the way to the machines he'd already made five trips to.

"I want that one!" Joey jovially said pointing his finger against the glass and in the direction of a bag of potato chips.

"Alright," Edith said as she opened her purse getting ready to search for the change, but a small hand touched her arm stopping her from looking.

"Don't worry Grandma, I got this one."

Edith smiled as she watched the young blond boy show off his smooth, flat dollar bill and then turn to get his snack. She continued to watch him carefully punch in the numbers and as she did she couldn't help but hear the conversation of the couple who was standing at the nearby desk.

"Come on you've gotta have something available!" a masculine voice told the person behind the desk. "Anything to get me away from_ Honkyville!"_

"George!"

Edith frowned as she began to rack her brain; she knew she'd heard those voices before.

George Jefferson turned to look at his wife, and began to protest "What? He's one of us he knows what I'm talking about!"

Then it hit her, but still she couldn't believe it was true so slowly turned around.

"George, sometimes…."

"Louise!" Edith exclaimed as she saw her friend.

Immediately Louise turned around, "Edith!"

The two women then embraced in a embrace that only two old friends could. Hugging, jumping and squealing. Meanwhile the two men who were each with one of the two friends who were making a scene, simply watched; both frowning.

Joey shrugged it off as he went on to eating his chips while George swiftly turned back to the counter.

"I'll take a trip to Mexico, if that's all you've got left." he practically begged.


	2. Chapter 2

_Didn't think this story would be posted in chapters but here it is! Hope you've liked it so far!_

_BTW I own nothing!_

"What are you doing here, Edith?" Louise asked

"I'm on my way back to New York." Edith informed her.

"You're going in the wrong direction, Bunker's over there." George scoffed to himself

Edith frowned as she tried to figure out what it was that he was talking about, while Louise frowned at her husband looking upset.

"Never mind him." She said turning Edith's attention back to her, "Where're you coming from?"

"Oh I was in California, with Gloria and Joey…"

"How are Mike and Gloria?" Louise asked happily wanting to know how her old friends were.

"Oh well," Edith began in a soft tone, "Mike left Gloria a few months ago…"

"Oh no!"

"Yeah, so I'm staying over there to help her take care of Joey…oh Joey!" she said realizing she hadn't introduced her grandson to the Jeffersons.

She quickly turned around and extended her hand to Joey, who grabbed it, and slightly pulled him over. "George, Louse this is Archie and my grandson Joey. Joey this is Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson."

"Hello." Louise said cheerfully

"Hi!" Joey said in a similar tone

"Hi." George said in a tone most different from the two.

"Oh Edith, he's adorable!" Louise gushed "You know I just became a grandmother myself."

"Really?!"

"Yes, to a little baby girl." She said as she dug through her purse in search of a picture. At last she found it, "Here she is baby Jessica Jefferson."

"Oh my, she's beautiful!" Edith complimented and before George knew it the two women were once again talking at a speed that only they could understand. Finally he couldn't take it any more.

"Would you look at the time!" he practically shouted while looking at his watch, "We've gotta ago Weezy, our plane's leaving in ten minutes! Well it was nice seeing you…" George went on as he grabbed his wife's arm and tried to pull her away.

"George!" Weezy cried, "You just talked to the flight attendant, our flight to Washington has been cancelled!" she said pulling her arm away from him.

"What are you going to Washington for?" Edith asked.

"George has a business meeting there…" Louise began to explain.

"On Thanksgiving?" Edith asked shocked

"Exactly my point!" Louise said and then waved her hand, "but it doesn't matter anymore, our planes been cancelled, so we're stuck trying to find out how we're gonna spend Thanksgiving 1981."

Then Edith got an idea, "Oh I know! You can spend it with us!"

"Really?!" Louise asked enthusiastically while her husband asked the similar question in a rundown tone of voice.

"Sure!" Edith said her smile never fading.

"Are you sure it won't be any trouble?" asked Louise

Edith thought for a few seconds, "Well you might have to wait because our plane got delayed but besides that it won't be no trouble at all! All I gotta do is call Archie and let him know we've gotta add two extra plates at dinner."

"There's your trouble." George mumbled to himself but just loud enough for Edith to hear.

"Oh no," Edith started, "I'm sure Archie won't mind he's already invited other people!"

"Oh Edith!" Louise exclaimed, "You're a life saver."

"Weezy." George called

"Oh!" Edith said in an embarrassed tone as she dropped her hand.

"Weezy!" once again called George only now a bit louder and a bit more annoyed.

"Say do you need help cooking dinner? Because I have a recipe for…."

Then once again the two women got lost in their conversation as George continued to try and get his wife's attention failing until…

"WEEZY!" George exclaimed so loud the people he was suppose to meet in Washington could hear him; both Louise and Edith turned around to look at him. Instead of saying anything George simply gave his wife a look that said, 'Get over here, we need to talk!'

Louise turned around looking at Edith, "Excuse me a minute will you Edith?" she asked in a soft most polite tone.

After seeing Edith nod, Louise went over to her husband "What?!" she asked in a tone of the exact opposite.

George however didn't pay much attention, "Weezy, there's no way we're having dinner at _Bunkerville_!"

Louise frowned "George, they are our friends and they invited us to dinner!"

"Wrong, wrong, wrong!" her husband exclaimed, "Only one of them invited us and they aren't our friends they're our ex-neighbors! 'Ex' as is no more, not in our life any more…like an ex-boyfriend, ex-boss, an ex-employee…"

"How about ex-husband?" Louise asked crossing her arms.

"There you go!" George exclaimed and Louise rolled her eyes.

"George…" his wife warned.

"Listen Weezy…" but before George could go on Louise interrupted.

"George, where are we going to go? There is nowhere else!" she exclaimed, "Lionel and Jenny are having dinner with their friends, The Willis' are having dinner with Helen's family, Mr. Bentley is over in England and Florence…"

"Florence!" George practically jumped "We can have Thanksgiving with her. She's got no life!"

Louise continued to frown, "She's serving Thanksgiving meals to the homeless."

"Damn haven't those guys been through enough?!"

Louise shook her head, "George, we are having dinner with the Bunkers and that's final!"

"But Weezy!" George tried to protest but his wife had already walked back over to Edith and the two resumed with their conversation about tomorrow. George's frown increased as he crossed his arm, pouted some, and then dropped onto the seat across from Joey.

Back at home, Stephanie Mills came down the stairs to see the scene of Archie, Hank, Harry, and Barney sitting around the dinning room table with poker chips in the center of it, cards in each of their hands, and cigar smoke flowing through out the room.

"And that's what we call a full house!" Archie grinned as he showed his friends his cards and they all groaned.

"Aren't you supposed to be working on Thanksgiving dinner?" she asked her uncle as she walked over to the table.

"Nah, nah. Edith told me to take out the turkey and we ain't got one, sos that bird flew out the window." Archie said with a cigar between his teeth.

"Then aren't you gonna take out the chickens?"

"Them things don't need to come out now." Harry explained

"Yeah," Archie agreed, "all youse gotta do is take it out an hour before, let it refrost and then it's good to go!"

Stephanie frowned some as she realized what the men were doing, "I thought you weren't suppose to play poker." She half stated half asked as she remembered her aunt's story of her uncle's gambling problem from many years ago.

"Uh, this ain't poker is it guys?" Archie asked his friends.

"No!"

"No way!"

"What's poker?"

Were the responses, Stephanie didn't believe it, "Then why are there poker chips there?"

"Geeze you're the question girl tonight, ain't ya?" her uncle asked trying to buy him some time before answering the question, "Ugh they're Hank's chips. We uh…called him up and told him to bring over some potato chips for the game and the dope brought these here."

"But…"

"Ain't youse got something to do?" Archie asked not wanting to answer another one of Stephanie's questions.

"I'm thirsty, so I came down to get something to drink." she informed him as she headed for the kitchen.

"Yeah well then get your drink and then go on back to your room." Archie instructed but Stephanie just waved her hand as she pushed open the swinging door.

"Hey, how come I'm the dope?" Hank asked and the three men looked at each other.

"Maybe its cause of them fumes." Barney suggested and Harry and Archie grinned as they knew where it was their friend was going.

"What fumes?" Hank asked confused

"The fumes youse re-hale when youse dye your hair." Archie dryly said and the men excluding Hank shared a laugh. Then something popped into his head, "Ah geeze…" he groaned.

"Wha's a matter?" Harry asked as he watched his friend get up from the table.

"The kid's in the kitchen getting something to drink and the beer's in there." Was the last thing Archie said before disappearing to the kitchen.

Moments later the phone rang, but none of the men paid it any attention.

"Hey one of youse get that huh?!" Archie called

The three men looked at each other, trying to decide who would go answer it, then they came up with a plan. Paper, Scissors, Rock. And so they played the game and as luck was not on his side tonight Hank was the loser, meaning he had to answer the telephone.

He sighed before getting up as Harry and Barney snickered whole they watched him.

"Hello?" he said into the phone.

"Oh hello Hank." Edith said surprised to hear his voice.

"Oh hi Edith."

"What are you doing there? Oh are you helping Archie get ready for tomorrow?"

"Uh…" Hank thought for a minute "yeah."

"Oh that's nice of you." Edith said smiling, "Is Archie there?"

"Oh yeah. But he can't talk right now he's uh busy…getting the stuff ready for tomorrow." He lied

"Oh. Well can you give him a message for me?"

"Yeah sure! You get a plane out yet?" Hank asked assuming that was the message.

"No, not yet. Could you tell Archie that I ran into the Jeffersons…you remember them don't you? George and Louise."

"Yeah, Yeah."

"Well," Edith continued "I ran into them here at the airport and I invited them to come have Thanksgiving with us!"

A smile sprung to Hank's face. "You ran into the Jeffersons?" he asked in disbelief

"Yeah."

"George and Louise Jefferson?"

"Yeah."

"There at the airport?"

"Yeah."

"And you invited them over here?"

"Yeah."

"To have Thanksgiving with us?"

"Yeah."

"And they're coming?"

"Yeah." Edith said wondering why he was asking so many questions and she became even more confused when she heard him laugh. "Does that mean you'll tell him?"

Hank then snapped out of it, "Oh yeah, sure I will."

"Oh thank you Hank. Well I better go, tell Archie I'll call him as soon as they tell us something about a new flight."

"Sure thing, Bye."

"Bye."

Hank hung up the phone and walked back to the dinning room table where he was met by Harry and Barney who both had an expression showing that they were obviously confused and interested.

"The Jeffersons are coming here?" Barney asked in a whisper and Hank nodded.

"Geeze, Archie's gonna hit the roof when he hears about this." Harry commented.

"I know." Hank said grinning away, "Shh he's coming." He said as he heard Archie and Stephanie coming their way.

"Listen kid, no where does it say that youse can act like a wino and sleep in till noon just cause you're on vacation!" Archie exclaimed as the two walked out of the kitchen.

Stephanie turned around to look at her uncle, "And where does it say that I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to help you make Thanksgiving dinner?"

"In the Bible." Archie simply said and his niece rolled her eyes as she headed for her room upstairs, "And if youse don't wanna look at that," Archie continued remembering the young girls religion, "then just look at the old saying. 'The early bird gets the egg.'"

Stephanie walked up the stairs not paying attention to Archie's words as the three men were confused by them. Archie however, ignored the looks as he sat back down in his seat.

"Who was that on the horn?"

"Oh uh…" Harry and Barney seemed to say together neither knowing how to tell him, but Hank did.

"Wrong number." He simply said and Archie accepted the answer while Harry and Barney looked astonished by his friends' words.

Archie noticed this and frowned, "Get rid of the deer in the headlights looks and deal the cards!" he shouted causing Barney to jump before he passed out the cards.

Back in Chicago as she waited for Edith to return from making her phone call, Louise was getting reacquainted with Gloria as George sat in a near by chair looking very much irritated.

"I'm so sorry to hear about you and Mike."

"Oh it's ok." Gloria began, "I'm doing much better now, I'm going to college now and Ma's helping me take care of Joey, and Daddy's helping out too…"

"Yeah, he musta drove the poor guy away." George said to himself.

"George!"

Gloria smiled some, "It's alright. Daddy's actually been sending us abit of money every so often to help us out."

"Oh how nice." Louise said smiling

"Yeah. Say how's Lionel?"

"Oh he's doing great!" Louise began "He and Jenny got married a few years ago, they're living in their own apartment now and oh they just had the most beautiful baby girl things are really…" Louise then realized what she was saying, "but he lost his favorite sweater a few weeks ago and hasn't found it yet so things aren't too great."

Gloria smiled as she figured out what her ex neighbor had done.

"Mommy I'm tired." Joey said as he leaned his head on his mothers shoulder.

"Oh I know honey."

Louise smiled at the scene before her and then began to speak. "You know maybe we should get some sleep…"

"What are you talking about Weezy?"

Louise looked at George, "Sleep George, _you_ know what you do at _night_."

George continued to frown, "We can't sleep here. Someone could come and steal our things while we're asleep! Let's go check into a hotel or something."

"George, it's too late to check into a motel let alone a hotel."

"What? It's never too late, I'm George Jefferson of Jefferson Cleaners!" he said making every word seem more important than the other.

"Yeah Mr. Jefferson," Gloria began, "but here you're just…George Jefferson of Jefferson Cleaners." She said in a tone of the exact opposite.

George continued to frown, "I ain't sleeping here."

"Good because you're not."

"I'm not?" asked George in disbelief.

"No, you're going to stay up and watch our bags."

"Say what?!"

Louise rolled her eyes, "George you just said someone could come and steal our things, so you are going to make sure that doesn't happen."

"But why me?"

"Because you're the only man who's with us."

George frowned, "But what about….him!" he said pointing at the drowsy blonde boy sitting in front of him.

"You want to leave our bags in the care of a six year old?" Louise asked in disbelief.

"Sure! We'll stock him up with sugar and he'll be ready to go!"

Joey, hearing this, sat straight up with a smile plastered across his face, as one of the women gave a small smile and the other not one at all.

THURSDAY 8:00 A.M.

BUNKER HOME

Archie Bunker was fast asleep on the pink couch in his living room when Stephy bounced down the stairs in her purple pajamas and matching robe. Sleeping without someone on the left side of the bed was something Archie couldn't get use to and so some nights he slept on the sofa just as he'd done last night.

Stephanie switched on the TV before flopping onto her uncles chair, the volume of the TV show wasn't too loud but still it woke Archie.

"Geeze." He groaned "What the hell is this? What happened to your wino plan?" he asked after spotting his niece and sitting himself up.

"I forgot that the cast of Three's Company was coming out on the Macy's parade." Was her response while never looking away from the television.

"Geeze, I hate that show." He growled "That set of theirs makes me wish TV was still shown in black and white." He said running his hand down his face, "Hey and don't youse never do what them two girls are doing."

"Live with a guy who pretends to be gay?" she asked watching her uncle get up from his seat.

"No. Move in with a guy." Stephanie rolled her eyes as he continued, "Not until after your married."

"Shouldn't you get started on dinner? Aunt Edith's not home yet." She reminded

"Ah..." he growled before blowing a raspberry, "To that. Listen kid, you know why it takes your Aunt Edith so long to make Thanksgiving dinner?" She shook her head, "Cause she bought too much stuff! She gets confused with all them stuff she bought that she don't remember wha goes in wha. I'm surprised I ain't never found a turkey leg in the pie!"

Stephanie took a deep breath, "Well if that's true then you should be done in five minutes." She said deep in sarcasm.

"Exactly!"

"But…"

"Rose Mary don't worry about it, just watch the 'Two's Company' show, I've got it all planned out." He said before leaving into the kitchen.

"That's what I'm worried about." She said aloud before going back to watching the tube.

Back at the familiar airport in Chicago, Edith along with four cups of coffee made her way to where the others were sleeping. First she decided to wake Louise so they could catch up some more. "Louise." She called nothing, "Louise." She tried again and still nothing she tried a few more time before finally succeeding in waking her friend.

"Oh Edith." Louise said squinting her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Where?" Edith asked not sure if she meant here in Chicago, or in New York, or what her watch had, California.

Louise shook her head, "Um here."

"Oh," Edith looked at a near by clock, "Nine Thirty."

"Gee, I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep here but I guess eight hours counts as sleep."

Edith gave a small smile.

"How long have you been up?" Louise asked sitting up

"Oh since six."

Louise's eyes went wide, "Six?!"

"Yeah." She shook her head, "Ever since I've been out in California, I ain't been sleeping too good. I guess I'm not use to sleeping in a bed without Archie, so when I'm in California I don't sleep much."

"I bet you don't sleep much when you're in New York either." Louise said smirking

Edith frowned as she tried to figure out what her friend was getting at, and then she did. "Ooohhh! Oh Louise." She said blushing and Louise gave a chuckle, "Oh here I brought you some coffee." Edith said remembering the cups she brought with her.

"Oh thank you." Louise said taking the cup

"I smell coffee." Gloria said sitting up.

Both Louise and Edith smiled at each other and then back at Gloria. "Thanks Ma." Gloria said as she took the white foam cup in her hands.

"You're welcome. Oh I brought one for George, but I wasn't sure if he'd want it now." Edith told Louise.

"Oh thanks Edith. I'm sure he'd like to have it now, after all he stayed up…George!" Louise exclaimed as she turned and saw her husband curled up on the seat a few chairs away from them.

"George, George, George!" he cheered in his sleep with a small smile across his lips.

Both Edith and Gloria smiled while his wife frowned and stood up getting ready to wake him.

"Oh no Louise, maybe you should let him sleep. He'll need his strength for when we get to New York." Edith pointed out

"That's true…" Louise said sitting back down.

"Yeah, if we ever get a plane out here." Gloria scoffed before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Oh we will." A smiling Edith said.

"But when?"

"Soon. I heard them say it while I was getting the coffee." Edith informed them and they got excited. "At five thirty." Then the two faces dropped.

"Five thirty?!" Louise asked in disbelief

"Yeah."

"Oh Ma, that's so far away!" Gloria whined.

"No it ain't." Edith began, "It could be a lot worse. At least we're getting a plane out today, and we'll get to have Thanksgiving together." She finished cheerfully.

Gloria sighed, "I guess you're right ma. Well I better wake up my little boy, so he can take a nap on the plane and not bother any of the passengers."

"Yeah I better do the same." Louise said nodding.

Back at 704 Hauser Street, Stephanie was sitting in her uncle's chair, still in her pajamas, watching the last of the parade when the phone rang. The young girl kept her eyes on the television set, tuning out the ring completely; unfortunately it wasn't so easy for Archie to do the same. He pushed open the door from the kitchen and made his way to the phone.

"Can't youse hear that?!"

"No." Stephanie said never moving her eyes from the TV, "I guess that _'damn music'_ is really ruining my hearing."

Archie frowned and shook his head while glaring at her, before answering the phone, "Yeah hello?"

"Hello Archie!" Edith greeted on the other line.

"Hiya there Edith." Archie greeted

"How are things going over there?" she asked smiling

"Oh they're going." Archie simply said.

"That's good." Edith said smiling, "I've got good news."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah but you gotta…" Archie knew what his wife was going to say so he quickly interrupted her.

"Edith youse say guess and I'm hanging up this here phone." Archie sternly said, but Edith's smile never disappeared.

"We got a plane out!" se said happily.

A smile quickly appeared over Archie's face as he quickly realized he wouldn't have to make the dinner if Edith would be here. "You did? That's great now…"

"Yeah. At five thirty."

Archie's smile dropped. "Five thirty? In Chicago time?!"

"Yeah I think so…" Edith began to say,

"Edith that means you ain't gonna be home till…"

"After seven." The couple said together

"Geeze" Archie groaned

"Oh Archie, it ain't that far away. But that means now youse gotta…" Archie then knew exactly what his wife was getting at.

"Oh no!" Archie shouted

"Get started on Thanksgiving dinner." Edith finished.

"Listen Edith," Archie began, "Archie Bunker ain't made no Thanksgiving dinner in his life and he ain't never going too!"

"Oh Archie it won't be so bad, all you gotta do is follow the recipes…and I'm sure Stephy will help you."

Archie frowned as he looked over at his niece who continued to sit in his chair, absorbed in the television special, "Yeah I wouldn't put all my chickens in that there bucket." He took in a deep breath, "Edith why can't we wait till youse get home?"

"Oh Archie if I could I would but I can't. If youse don't get started on it we won't be able to having Thanksgiving dinner till the next day." Edith explained.

"Ok, sos we'll have one extra day with the leftovers. Just one new recipe youse gotta come up with to hide the turkey in." Archie stated and Edith frowned sensing his wife wasn't on board with that idea he tried again, "Ok then we'll just skip it. Thanksgiving ain't that big of a holiday, we don't get no gifts."

"No, but we thank God for all the gifts he'd blessed us with." Edith pointed out

"Alright so we'll do it another time just before dinner." Archie said and Edith frowned, "No good huh?"

"No." Edith frowned and shook her head, "Well anyways, I'm sure everything will be fine, youse could even get everyone from the bar to help you out and then things would go by faster and easier."

Archie thought for a few seconds, "Unless youse wanna come home to a burned down kitchen I think I better do without them."

Edith laughed a small laugh, "Oh Archie. I know you'll do great. All youse gotta do is remember that we'll all be together, having dinner, spending time, and catching up with each other." She said smiling.

"Yeah, yeah." Archie said not showing just how happy that made him.

"Oh I better go Archie I'll see you soon! Goodbye!"

"Yeah alright bye Edith." Archie said before hanging up with phone. He sighed as he looked over at Stephanie, "Well kid did youse hear that?"

"What?!" Stephanie said pretending she couldn't hear a word her uncle was saying.

"Did youse hear what your Aunt Edith just said?" Archie asked abit louder

"I can't hear you!" Stephanie shouted and Archie frowned.

"Ah dummy up youse." He said before turning his attention back to the phone, punching in the familiar number he waited a few seconds before receiving an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi there Harry." Archie greeted.

"Oh hi Arch, Happy Thanksgiving."

Archie then pretended to be surprised, "Is it Thanksgiving already?"

"Yeah." Harry said nodding

"Oh my how the time had flown." Archie began, "Say youse still up for coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah sure!" Harry responded never giving it a second thought.

"Good. Then get your butt over here in fifteen minutes!" Archie shouted before hanging up the phone and then dialing the next number.

Almost an hour later Archie and Stephy along with the other guys were sitting in the kitchen.

"Alright youse guys…" Archie began and the young girl cleared her throat, "and girl. We've got a situation here, Edith ain't gonna be home till after seven sos youse…"

"Wait a minute…" the group began to say before arguing against Archie's use of the word, 'youse'.

"Alright, alright, alright. We've gotta cook up the dinner ourselves." Archie explained and many groans followed. "Now come on guys don't youse guys wanna have dinner here?"

"Yeah sure, but I thought Edith was gonna make the dinner." Barney pointed out.

"Yeah Arch for this I could stay home and made them TV dinners." Harry said aloud.

Archie frowned, "Listen to youse guys. Expecting a woman to do all the work for thanksgiving dinner. I'm disgusted!"

The three men exchanged looks, they now did feel abit guilty, especially since the woman they were expecting to do all the work, was already doing enough.

"Alright."

"I'm in."

"What do I have to do?"

Were their responses and Archie smirked. "Alright, I've got it all planned out this is how it's gonna work. Rosemarie youse work on the chickens." this earned him an eye roll from his friends as he put a young woman to work on the most important part of the dinner; it went unseen as he went on with his plan.

"Hank youse work on the corn bread and yams. Harry youse got the stuffing and gravy, and Barney you're in charge of the pies." He went on and the four others frowned as they noticed he didn't include himself.

"Hey what are youse doing?" Barney asked.

"I'm in charge of the cranberries." He simply replied.

"And?" Stephanie asked

"And making sure youse baboons are doing your jobs while watching the Dallas Cowboys game."

This statement only upset his audience more as they exchanged glances knowing they would have to change Archie's plan, around abit.

George Jefferson sat at the bar of a nearby restaurant the five had gone to, to get some lunch, as the bartender served him another shot. He lifted the glass, "And I'm thankful for shot glasses." He paused, "Because without them you couldn't do shots!" he said before cracking up at his own joke.

Louise who was searching for her husband saw him right away. "George!"

"Oh hi Weez."

"What are you doing?"

George looked at his wife, "I'm celebrating Thanksgiving 1981!" he said before drinking the shot, this only made his wife angrier.

"George, how many have you had?"

George thought for a few minutes and then began to count using his fingers lifting each one of them up faster then the last, finally he used them all and he then shrugged while keeping his hands open and his lips pouted.

"George!" Louise yelled, "They'll never let us on the plane with you like this!"

George pretended to be disappointed, "Aw man Weez! That means we won't be able to have dinner with the honkies…I mean turkeys."

Now Louise knew what he was up to, she turned to the man behind the bar, "Black coffee and keep it coming." She ordered, as her drunk husband blew her a kiss oblivious to what she was doing.

Back in Queens, in a familiar kitchen some were preparing for the big meal.

The four older men were moving through out the kitchen which was already a mess. Flour spilled in some places, dishes and pans through out the counter, and they all seemed to be in search of something.

"I found the pan!" Barney announced holding up a pan that the chickens would be cooked in; as soon as he made his announcement the other men cheered some.

Just then Stephanie walked in; she frowned, "What have you made?" she paused, "Besides a mess."

Archie frowned at his niece, "We…"just then the buzzing like ring was heard from the green egg timer. Stephy was curious to see what it was the men had made and tried to see the inside of the oven but to her surprise instead of going to the right side of the kitchen they all moved to the left and out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Football." Hank replied

"Fifty dollars on the Bears!" Harry declared.

"Naw the Chiefs are gonna win all the way." Barney argued as Archie went over and turned on the tube.

Stephanie shook her head, "Aren't you gonna get started on dinner yet?"

"Sure we'll do it on…" Harry began

"Halftime!" Barney declared.

Stephanie's eyes became wide and then she frowned, "If you do that you'll only have_ half_ a meal."

This made the men think as silence fell over them "Half the dishes to wash!" Harry exclaimed and Barney and Hank showed that they agreed.

Archie however did not. "Hold on youse guys; the kids gotta point. We gotta get started come on." He said getting up not turning on the TV.

The men groaned, "Oh come on!"

"No, no. Edith's coming home soon and we've got nothing now come on…"

The three then began to bargain.

"I'll double my bet on the Chiefs!" Harry declared this got Archie to raise his eyebrow.

"Halftime youse say?"

And then he went back to the TV causing his friends to cheer and his niece to look at him with only shock on her face; she shook her head and went into the kitchen leaving the men to their game.

Hours later the four men entered the kitchen each of the giving their opinion on the just finished game.

"Geeze that was some game." Said Barney

"Yeah," Archie agreed, "I wonder where I'm gonna put the once belonged to Harry but now belongs to me fifty dollar bill."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Come on Arch we all know where youse are gonna put that there dough."

Archie frowned but before he could speak Barney cut in.

"In your secret cigar box up on the top shelf of the closet, you ain't never told nobody about."

"That already has a hundred and nine dollars in it." Hank added.

Archie continued to frown, "Ah," he blew a raspberry, "to youse guys." He said putting the bill in his pocket.

"Hey Arch what's this?" Hank asked picking up a yellow paper from the table and showing it to Archie.

Archie looked at it, "That there Hank, is a paper. Now next week we'll teach youse the name of the thing youse right on it with."

Hank looked at his friend looking both hurt and upset, not noticing Harry took the sheet out of his hands.

"It's from Stephanie." He shared with the others.

"Who?" Archie asked confused and his friends rolled their eyes. "Geeze gimme that." He said yanking the sheet out of his business partners hands, he then began to read it making sure to pull the paper back as far as he could, "It's from the kid." He announced "Ah geeze listen to this traitors note. 'Went to the O'Brian's be back at six. The kid.'"

"Guess that means we're on our own now huh?" Hank asked and the others agreed in a tone that showed they weren't too thrilled about it.

"Hey but that don't matter, we can't do it can' we?" Archie asked rhetorically, "After all what's a woman got that a man don't?"

The men opened their mouths to say something but Archie stopped them all "Don't be dirty! Now come on get over to your places and get started on the food." He instructed and so the men split up through out the kitchen. Archie frowned as he watched Harry walk over to the stove and pick up Edith's green egg timer.

"What the hell are you doing with that? We ain't even baked nothing yet!" he exclaimed.

"I know! I'm setting it for the next game!" Harry shouted back, "Hey Barney what's the time?"

Barney looked down at his watch, "Ten till four."

Harry then began to move the timer.

"Geeze!" the two bar owners groaned, "We ain't gonna make it!" the other men looked over at them

"What's wrong?" Hank asked

"We ain't got enough time 'fore the game starts." Harry stated and Archie frowned.

"Forget the game, Edith's coming home soon and we ain't even gotten started!"

Harry shook his head, "Arch, Edith's plane don't get in for almost four hours we've got less then half of that till the Dallas game starts!"

Archie's two other friends groaned, "Come on lets go." They all seemed to say as they headed for the swinging door, Archie sprang over to the door to block them.

"Hold it a minute guys." He told them, "Now come on, we can make this here dinner and watch the game at the same time."

"How?" Barney asked lifting up his chin

Archie looked at his friends as they looked at him interested in what he would say next. He lifted both his eyebrows, "I don't know." And then sat down at the table.

"Gee," Hank started to say, "when are they gonna invent a TV that goes in the kitchen?"

"Right after the put one in the can." Harry said and the other men nodded in agreement.

After listening to his friends conversation a light went off in Archie's head, "I got it." He then sat up, "I'll go on upstairs to the kids' room and get the portable television there and then just bring it on down here."

Once more his friends showed they were not on board for this idea.

"Now way Arch!" Harry shouted.

Barney agreed "Yeah it's too small."

"And it's in black and white." Hank added and the others stared at him

"Why the hell do youse need it in color?" Archie asked, "Wanna make sure they ain't really wearing white, since it's after Columbus Day?"

Hank frowned as the others rolled their eyes.

"Forget it Arch," Barney began, "I ain't watching the Thanksgiving football game on a TV that's smaller then the chickens youse bought."

"Alright, fine!" Archie exclaimed, "Just remember what the ol saying says. Beggars can't be choosers."

"Sure they can, and we choose to watch the game instead of helping youse cook!" Harry said as they started to head towards the door once again.

"Aw come on youse guys there's…I got it!" Archie exclaimed clapping his hands together and the others looked on with confusion.

"Harry come on out here with me. And youse two stay here and get started on the food" Archie instructed as he left out of the kitchen and the men did as they were told.

"Hey Arch, why'd I come out here with you?" Harry asked as they made their way to the television.

Archie frowned, "Why do youse always ask questions? You're the 40% and I'm the 60%. Now when 60 says to do something 40 asks how high."

Harry rolled his eyes as Archie continued, "Now come on grab the other side of the TV."

Harry frowned, "Why?"

"What did I just say?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "How high?"

Archie rolled his eyes, "Just pick it up and I'll tell youse where to go." And so Harry did just that, "Ok now take it over into the kitchen."

"Arch this TV ain't gonna fit in there!" Harry declared

"What are you talking about, course it's gonna fit. What do you think it came from a seed we planted here?" Archie asked, "Now go."

Harry sighed as he went into the kitchen with one side of the TV in his arms and the other in Archie's; then they placed it down leaving it in front of the swinging door. This was obviously wasn't going to work. The TV was so big it did give enough room for movement in the kitchen to take place.

Harry looked at Archie, a smirk playing on his lips, "Shad up." Archie quickly said and then began to think he then measured the height of the TV with his arms and then compare it to the height of the counter that was net to the dinning room table. It didn't work, "Ok I got it. Harry move it right out of the kitchen."

"Why?"

"Forty, forty." Archie said and Harry became bothered but still picked up the TV and did what he was told.

"Ah geeze watch it there, you're gonna hurt a valuable piece of my equipment." Archie groaned.

It didn't take long for them to move out of the kitchen, placing the TV just out side the kitchen door.

"Ok," Archie began "Now get over on that other side of the kitchen and hold the door open." This time Harry didn't even bother arguing. "Ok" Archie said to himself and then pushed the TV against the wall before disappearing to mess with the wires.

His friends looked on with confusion. "You know what he's doing?" Barney asked

Harry looked over at him "He don't know what he's doing." He said dryly.

The men chuckled only to have it interrupted by an unseen Archie yell "Ah Geeze!"

"Wha's the matter Arch?"

Harry looked over at the men, "Don't ask that!" he said in a whisper, "He could have electrocuted himself and passed out, then we could go down to the bar and watch the game."

"Oh yeah." They seemed to say in ushion.

"I heard that!" Archie said before reappearing. "Ok now…" he said and then realized the TV was blocking the entrance into and out of the kitchen, "Help me over there huh?" he demanded more then suggested as he climbed over the TV and his friends pulled his arms for support.

"Geeze. Alright." Archie said, "Get ready boy's because youse are about to be part of history. The first television in the kitchen." He said before moving to turn on the tube. It worked and the men cheered and clapped some.

Only when Harry clapped, he let go of the swinging door and so the door slammed against the TV, making the men disappointed once again.

Back in Chicago, the small group on their way to the Hauser home were in line to board the plane. As Gloria, Edith, and Joey walked ahead of the couple Louise took the time to bagger her husband some more, over the drinking he'd done. The coffee had helped George some but he still had a pounding head that his hand rubbed as Louise went on.

"I just can't believe you would drink so much, just so we wouldn't have dinner with them."

George rolled his eyes, and a woman and her crying baby came and stood behind him. "Geeze…" he groaned.

Louise looked over at the baby and then at her husband, "Oh look George he's speaking you language." noticing that George still seemed bothered she tried again, "Oh don't worry with any luck, they won't sit near us on the plane."

George frowned more as he kept his hand on his forehead, "Yeah any luck but mine."

Louise sighed as she turned away from her husband and over to her friends.

"Say Louise, do you realize this is only the second time we've spent a holiday together?" Gloria asked.

Louise's eyes became wider, "Oh that's true! Christmas right?"

"Yeah," Edith said, "Back in 1972."

"That makes me feel so old!" Louise said causing the other two to laugh.

"Mommy, I'm gonna go get another snack." Joey announced showing off another dollar before going under the ropes and back to the vending machines.

"What? Joey no..." Gloria tried to stop him but it was too late, she sighed, "Ma you stay here I'll be right back." Was the last thing she said before following her sons actions.

Both Louise and Edith smiled as they watched.

"So," Louise began, "What did Archie say when you told him we were coming?"

"I don't know." Edith simply said and Louise's face dropped.

"Well you did tell him didn't you?" she asked assuming the answer would be yes.

"No." Edith said shaking her head. "I called and his friend Hank picked up the phone since he was at our house helping decorate the place. He told me Archie was busy getting things ready and so I left my message with him. I don't now how he reacted.

This did not boost Louise's confidence and Edith could tell.

"Oh Louise don't worry." She told her, "I'm sure Archie will welcome you two with open arms."

"Ha!" George said out loud and the two women frowned.

Louise shook her head, "You're right Edith, I'm probably just worried. This is one my first Thanksgiving celebrated with more friends then family."

"Oh it's alright." Edith said smiling, "My Aunt Cynthia always thought things was celebrated better with friends then with family, so when I was sixteen years old she hosted thanksgiving dinner at her house inviting all of her friends and the only family members was my mother and us. Oh we all had so much fun, and we went home thinking my aunt was right. Until the next morning."

"Oh what happened?" Louise asked curious

"The rest of the family found out what happened and they all got into a huge fight. Oh I'll never forget it, and it all happened because my Cousin Jessica told my aunt…" Edith rambled on.

"Geeze," George groaned and his wife turned around to look at him. "She's worse then Bentley."

"What are you talking about?"

"At least with Bentley I got a door to slam in his face to shut him up, here I ain't got nothin."

Louise rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention back to Edith trying to catch up with the story.

Meanwhile back in the Bunker kitchen, the four men sat around the TV watching the game smoking their lit cigars. They were all absorbed in the game until just a few seconds after when Harry announced, "Commercial!"

Then they all got up and went to their places, all but Archie who went over to the fridge to get some beers, as Barney went to work on the pies, Hank the corn bread, and Harry the stuffing. Archie then began handing out the beers stopping when he saw Hank, with a pan of the corn bread batter in his hand, opening the door to the oven.

"What the hell are youse doing?"

"I'm puttin' in the cornbread." He simply said.

"Not with the chickens in there!" Archie declared.

"The chickens ain't in there." Barney said after overhearing the conversation.

"Sure they are, I put in them."

"When?" Harry asked

Archie looked at his business partner, "While youse filthy guys were watching them Dallas Cheerleaders."

"Did you wash 'em ?"Barney asked

Archie frowned, "Course I washed 'em, what kind of dope do youse think I am?"

"Which soap did you use?"

"The soap right there by the sink." Archie pointed, "The dish soap there."

"Arch you ain't supposed to use dish soap on food!" Harry exclaimed

"What are youse talking about?"

"The dish that the chickens already have dish soap on them so now it's gonna taste too much like the dish soap." He explained

Archie frowned before blowing a raspberry, "To that. Soap is soap, don't make no difference at all."

The men groaned while protesting as well but Hank still tried to put the bread in the oven.

"What are youse doing I just said youse can't put in the bread yet." Archie declared

"Why can't you just take out the chickens?" Hank question.

"I can't do that, they've gotta cook longer then that there bread." Was Archie explanation.

"Sure, but that means the bread won't take that long."

Archie stared at him blankly.

"Nice one genius." Harry called over.

Archie shook his head, "Listen Hank, the turkey's the most important part of the meal, so it's important it's made first."

"You ain't even got a turkey!" Hank shouted back.

"Yeah well, corn bread don't have no importance. We all ready got corn, all you gotta do is eat it with a slice of wonder bread."

Hank finally gave up and dropped the dish onto the counter taking a seat at the table to wait for the game to come back on.

"Hey, we're doing pretty good on time ain't we?" Barney asked aloud.

"Yeah." Harry said as he and the pot of stuffing made their way to the table where a empty dish was waiting. "It's only…" He checked his watch, his watch that was on the wrist of the hand that held his beer; he turned his arm around to look at the time not noticing until a few seconds, later. "Uh-o." he said quickly moving the beer can from spilling into the stuffing.

Archie and Barney's eyes became wide as they saw the seen before them, "What did youse do?"

"I just gave it a little flavor." Harry simply replied.

"A little flavor?!" Archie exclaimed, "Youse just spiked the stuffing!'

"Not on purpose!"

"We got two kids coming to this here dinner, if I wanted to get 'em buzzed I woulda taken them down to the saloon, sos I could get some profit!" Archie went on.

"Ah come on Arch…" Harry began and soon an argument was taking place.

"Game's back on!" Hank cried over the yelling.

Quickly the two men stopped fighting and they all sat down in the seat in front of the TV. Seconds later Stephanie entered the scene from the backdoor while softly sing Barry Manilow song to herself.

"At the Copa, Copacabana the…" she stopped as she saw the scene before her, "I knew you didn't know your way around the kitchen, but I at least thought you knew what you were supposed to do in it."

"We did what we was supposed to do. Jut look around." Archie challenged his niece never looking away from the screen.

There was silence, "Well since I don't hear nothing form the peanuts section, we must be doing pretty good huh?" Archie questioned

Stephanie continued to look around. "Where are the mash potatoes?" she asked after a few minutes.

"They're over there next to the gravy." Came Archie's response.

"You've got gravy but no potatoes." She informed him

Obviously still wrapped up in the game Archie answered, "Ok, well that don't matter we got them yans Harry made…"

"Yeah about those Arch…"

Archie quickly looked over at him.

"We didn't buy yams." Stephanie said aloud. Archie frowned as he looked over at her and then back to his business partner.

"Why didn't youse saying nothin?!"

"Cause then you were gonna make me go buy some…"

"Damn straight I…" he began

"Hey, Hey Hey, you two!" Barney cried, "Just sit down and watch the game huh? We'll worry about it on commercial break."

After glaring at each other for a few more minutes the two men moved their eyes back to the TV, getting hypnotized once again.

"Hey this stuffing is pretty good." Stephanie commented after eating a spoonful of the _spiked stuffing._ Quickly all four men stood up and reached for the bowl. Archie successful grasped it and then sat back down leaving his niece to stare at him with bewilderment

An hour or two later Archie and the rest of the guys continued cooking the meal; and things seemed to be going smoothly.

"Well youse guys," Archie began, "We ain't done too bad after all. We got an hour till Edith's plane gets in and dinners almost done."

Barney, Hank, and Harry showed some of their excitement as well.

"Hey Arch, shouldn't the kitchen be smelling like chick…turkey?" Barney asked

"Yeah it's been in there for almost two hours." Harry pointed out.

"Nah, it's cause we ain't opened the door so that there stench is locked up in there." He simply replied.

"I don't know Archie I think you should check it." Barney said

"I think youse should check it." Archie said mockingly, "Alright, I'll check to show youse I'm right."

The men rolled their eyes as Archie then went over to the stove and opened the door with the others following right behind. Archie frowned as he saw the bird in the oven, the other men looked at each other.

"Uh…"Hank struggled, "It's pink Arch."

Archie's frown increased as he turned his head to look at his friends, "Youse sure it ain't magenta?" he then stood up grabbed the oven mitts and put them on before taking the chickens out of the stove, placing it on the counter.

Stephanie then entered the kitchen, "What's going on?" she asked as she walked over to the stove.

"Nothin." The said together trying to cover the 'turkey'

The young girl shrugged her shoulders, "Well your corn's turning into mush."

Harry quickly went over to the burner to check on the corn, leaving a space just big enough for Stephanie to fit through to see what was wrong with the chickens.

"It's pink!"

Archie rolled his eyes

"How did this happen?" she asked confused.

"Hey maybe it came off from the pieces of turkey youse put on top." Harry suggested

"Geeze that's gotta be the dumbest idea ever!" he shouted.

"Did you turn it on?" Barney asked

"Of course I turned it on."

"On the right temperature?" Stephanie questioned and her uncles frown increased.

"Yes, on the right temperature." He said abit mockingly but still Stephanie walked over to the stove to make sure. "It's that damn stove. Twenty five years we've had it, and it ain't till the Thanksgiving I'm cooking, that it breaks down I…"

"You put it on the wrong temperature." Stephanie simply said.

"What are youse talking about I put it on 350 on the dot." Archie said sure that he had done just that.

"Well you must be using the metric system, because it says 270."

Archie began to think, he could have sworn he put it on 350. Then it hit him, slowly he looked over at Hank who was trying to hide the un baked corn bread. He was unsuccessful.

"Hi." He said smiling hoping his friend hadn't caught on, but he did.

"I thought I told youse not to cook vegetable bread?!"

"I didn't!" Hank protested, "I just preheated the oven for it."

"How could you have…" Archie asked and soon the two began to argue.

"Hey come on youse guys." Barney called quieting them down.

"Yeah, Barney's right." Harry agreed standing by an open fridge, "We've got bigger problems. We ran outta beer."

Archie rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna run to the bar and go get some more." Harry said before climbing over the TV that remained in the doorway.

"Don't forget to put it on your growing tab!" Archie called before turning his attention back to the bird, he sighed.

"What are you gonna use now? Chicken nuggets?" Stephanie asked

"Wha are youse talking about, we can still use these here chickens we just gotta work faster." Archie explained.

Stephanie looked at him in disbelief, "Aunt Edith's plane is coming in in an hour, you need at least three to…"

"Geeze. Lemme tell youse something." Archie interrupted her, "You've been living here with us for almost two years right?" the young girl nodded, "Ok sos that makes you part Bunker and for the Bunkers, nothin is impossible. Alright?"

Stephanie smiled a small smile.

"Now youse go on out to there and set the table, and we'll figure out how to fry these here." He instructed

"Ok." She agreed, "how many plates do we need?"

"Let's see…" Archie said before mumbling to himself obviously counting the guest he knew were coming. "Eight." He asked after minutes of waitng.

"That sure was fast." Barney said sarcastically and Archie shrugged not noticing the tone.

"Hey wait a minute Arch. We need ten not eight." Hank said.

"What are youse talking about? It's eight. Me, Edith, Gloria the two kids, and youse three stooges, that makes eight."

"Youse forgot the Jeffersons."

"Oh yeah, yeah the Jeffersons…wha?"

"Yeah, they're coming to dinner." Hank continued.

Archie began to get upset, "Youse better mean Thomas and whatever the hell his wife's' name was Jefferson."

"Nope. George and Louise."

Archie looked as if he would explode.

"Surprise!"

Archie's frown increased as he watched his friends' smile increase, Barney meanwhile looked worried and Stephanie held back her laugh.

"Surprise? What the hell kind of surprise is this?" Archie asked, "Edith didn't say nothing 'bout this!"

"Sure she did." Hank said, "To me."

"When?!" Archie practically shouted

"Last night."

"And youse didn't tell me."

"Nope. I wanted it to be a surprise." He explained.

"Oh yeah, yeah…" Archie said in an understanding tone only to change it to a much different one, "I'm gonna kill you!" he shouted as he tried to strangle his friend as Stephanie and Barney quickly jumped in to stop him.


	3. Chapter 3

_Last part! Here we go, hope you've enjoyed it!_

_BTW I own nothing!_

Somehow Stephanie and Barney managed to prevent the fight from happening and now they were all back to preparing for tonight. As the men remained in the kitchen, Stephanie was setting the table. She set what she could but then realized she didn't have enough room so she went over to the kitchen climbing over the TV as she did so.

"We need this table over there." She informed the men.

"Yeah, alright." Archie said looking at the yellow piece of paper.

Stephanie frowned as she looked around not finding the turkey. "Where's the turkey?" she finally asked

"Archie put it in the oven." Barney informed her.

"You really think it'll be ready?" she asked her uncle.

"Huh?" he asked looking up from the paper, "Oh yeah, yeah. I put on there the highest whadaya call degree, and put it in. Sos it'll be ready in no time."

"How long did you put it in for?"

"For as long as it needs, maybe ten, fifteen minutes." Archie said.

"Yeah, and then we can put in the corn bread." Hank said smiling.

No one else smiled though instead they all frowned at him not believe what they had heard.

Archie shook it off, "Never mind youse." He then looked down at his watch, "We've got a few minutes till we gotta go pick up Edith and the kids…"

"And the Jeffersons." Barney, who had his eyes glued to the TV set, reminded him earning himself a drop dead look from Archie.

"Let's see what we've got here." Archie finished as he referred to the scrap of paper. "Now the birds are cookin', then there's the bread from hell…Mash potatoes?"

"We ain't got none." Barney said never moving his eyes.

Archie then scratched out the item. "Cross out the _yans_ too." Stephanie told him.

"Alright, the corn…"

"Is now mush." Stephanie finished for him

Archie blackened another items name, "The there's the stuffing that Harry made Irish style. And since this here is an American holiday, it's out where it belongs in the trash. Barn how the pies?"

"Ready to go Arch."

"And the cranberries?" Archie questioned and Stephanie placed the can of cranberries onto the table.

"Alright, that ain't too bad four outta…the rest of the stuff we had." Archie stated putting the list in his pocket, "Alright now Hank youse go get on that side of the table and help me move it over to the living room and Barney youse move the TV." Archie instructed and the two men began to whine.

"Oh come on Arch!" Barney began, "I'm watching the news. I gotta stay informed."

Archie frowned, "Watching the news." He scoffed, "The only thing your watching is that reporter that don't never wear them bolder holders."

"I don't know Arch, I'm with Barney. It'll be easier if we leave the TV there while we're moving the table." Hank stated. "If we move it, then we're gonna have to move it back to the doorway. This way all we gotta move is the table."

Though as Archie heard his friends speak a frown was worn across his face, it now seemed to have disappeared "Alright we'll do that. Just remember that ol' saying; I break it youse buy the new one."

"Hey look commercial!" Barney exclaimed jumping to his feet as he went to move the television set and Hank grabbed a side of the table. And so they moved the table with not much trouble at all.

"Barn get over here and move that there table." Archie instructed referring to the round table.

Once the dinning room table was moved the kitchen table was placed on the floor. "Alright kiddo, youse keep setting the table and we'll go back to the kitchen."

"Ok." Stephanie said but when the men left to the kitchen she followed right behind. Archie took a few seconds to look at the pies while the chef of them had parked himself back in front of the TV.

"What are youse doing in here I told you to finishing setting the table out there." Archie said.

"I need more silverware." The young girl explained showing the forks in her hands.

"Alright well hurry it up we gotta go pick up Edith…" he looked down at his watch, "now. Come on…" he said getting ready to leave.

"Hey Arch," Hank began, "You and Stephanie go and me and Barney will stay here and keep an eye on the turkey."

"Geeze what a great idea." Archie said sarcastically, obviously that plan had already been thought of.

"I smell something burning." Hank said his nose scrunched up.

"Must be your brain from thinking of that plan of yours." Barney said from his seat causing both himself and Archie to chuckle.

"No I smell it too." Stephanie said using her nose to try and find out where the smell was coming from. "It's coming from…"

"The oven!" they all exclaimed before rushing over to the stove.

Stephanie opened the door and they all huddled around to see what the chickens looked like. After they did they wished they wouldn't have. The chickens that had just minutes a go had been pink and cold was now hot with black patches found all over.

"Geeze talk about fired chicken." Barney said aloud.

"Yeah." Hank agreed, "Hey but I'm sure the Jeffersons will love it."

Archie was not happy with this suggestion, he still wasn't happy about the Jeffersons coming; but he didn't say anything mostly because Stephanie jumped in.

"If you don't get out those chickens out now no one is gonna eat them!"

"Alright, alright." Archie said before grabbing two oven mitts from the counter.

"Say Arch, ain't you gonna need some thicker ones?" Barney questioned

"Nah!" he protested, "I'm a man, women are the ones who use the thicker one on a count of all them chemicals found in their whadaya call hand loprtion. Now move out of the way." He said as he bent down to get the turkey out of the oven. "Geeze…" he groaned once the turkey was in his arms and out of the oven.

So used to having the kitchen table in the center of the kitchen Archie first turned in that direction only to remember where the table was now, to make matter worse he then began to feel the heat seep through the mitts. "Holy cow!" he said before saying a few other curses as he tried to find a place to put the tray.

After failing with the table he turned to the countertop on the right side of the stove, only to be faced with another problem. The pies were resting there along with the dishes that were used to make them. Archie was in too much of a hurry wanting to release his hand from the pain, he swiftly turned to the opposite direction causing the pies to follow him.

"My pies!" Barney exclaimed rushing to the two tin pans that now lay face down on the floor.

Finally the pain was too much, not being able to take it any longer Archie dropped the pan, right into the, luckily empty, sink as he let out another curse. As Archie examined his hands, Barney remained by the pies, Hank tried to figure out what he could do, and Stephanie tried to get her uncle attention.

"Uncle Archie! You dropped a chicken!"

"Alright well," he said moving over to the sink and the other two birds, "youse get that for me while I try to scrub off this here charcall on these two." He instructed her as he grabbed a wire brush and began to run the water.

So there they were Barney trying to salvage the pies, Hank putting the corn bread in the oven, Stephanie grabbing the turkey off the floor with a kitchen towel as Archie scrubbed the other to two in the sink; just then the back door burst open.

"I got the beer…" Harry said each word lower then the last.

Assuming his partner was shocked by the scrubbing and the rest of the mess Archie began to explain. "Put the beer in the icebox and grab a brush…ah geeze." He groaned as he saw what it was that had shocked Harry.

Over by the swinging door was not just the TV, but the people he thought were still on a plane on their way over to New York. Joey who smiled a childlike smile stood by his mother who was fighting back a laugh. George Jefferson stood in the back of the group with a large smile plastered across his face as his wife stood beside Edith both of them with shocked expressions; Edith showing more shock then Louise.

Stephanie, Barney, and Hank looked over to see what it was and their eyes became a bit wider as well. Everyone stood where they were as silence fell over the room with only the sound of the running water and a ding from the egg timer that no one quite knew what it was for.

A few hours later the family was able to have dinner with only a_ few_ changes. The chickens had been ruined as the pies, adding to the list of things not present at the table. Instead the only items from their original menu present were the corn bread and cranberry sauce, the rest of the food was in Chinese cartons. Though it didn't seem to bother most of them; the kids were laughing and the adults were caching up.

Archie looked across the table to watch his wife listen to one of Barney's jokes. Feeling her husbands eyes on her she looked over at him and gave a small smile, he smiled a small smile back.

"So Archie how's the bar going?" Louise asked tearing his attention away from Edith.

"Huh? Oh the saloon, it's doing good." Archie told her.

"Oh that's good…"

"Yeah, youse know running a saloon is one of the best business that brings in the money."

"Oh I guess that's true." Louise began, "After all there's always people celebrating something."

"Oh yeah sure, them people bring in money; but the big bucks are brought in from the depressed folks."

Louise's smile dropped. "Oh?"

"Hey Harry," Archie called across the table, "wha was the name of the loser who was in the saloon the other night? The one that wouldn't leave."

It didn't take long for Harry to realize who he was talking about "Oh yeah, yeah the boozer!" he exclaimed, "Yeah I remember him." He went on to tell the story. "Some guy came in the other night, depressed cause things wasn't going his way. His wife left him, his daughter was getting married, and something about his job. Anyways this guy wanted to kill himself."

A few gasps could be heard.

"Oh no." Louise breathed and Archie noticed

"Ah, don't worry there Louise. He didn't do it." He reassured her

"Yeah he got so drunk he forgot his name!" Barney threw in.

"Well that's….good…" Louise said not sure of what else to say.

"Oh, but the customers ain't all…"Edith struggle to remember what term Harry had used, "brosers. The bar is doing so good Archie was able to send us five hundred dollars last week."

"Really?" Louise asked interested.

"I could've sent ten hundred." George said to himself, but just loud enough for the two people he sat next to, to hear; those two being Louise and Archie.

"George!" Louise warned, but Archie interrupted her.

"Nah, nah hold it a minute Louise." Archie began, "What are youse saying Jefferson? I ain't making enough money to send over to my family?"

"No. Of course not." George replied, "I'm saying I make more than you." Both Harry and Archie frowned, "But it ain't your fault Bunker, youse just chose an unsafe business."

"What are you talking about?"

"George please…"

"Hold on a minute Weez." George said to his wife and then turned his attention back to his 'enemy'. "Think about it, with a bar you've got people who can get drunk, and get into fights, and get in accidents, your customers could get arrested! All I gotta worry about is the customers getting steamed from the machines, but since my machines are in the back I ain't got that problem!"

Louise placed her head into her hand.

"Sure, them things are true." Archie began getting ready to fire back and his wife could tell.

"Archie…"

"Stay outta this Edith." He said before going on with his point, "You could even be making more money then us, but ain't because of no unsafe business. It's all got to do with the symphony card."

Everyone frowned with confusion as they looked at him, "What are youse looking at eat your egg rolls!"

"What symphony card Bunker?!"

"Yeah, yeah. The way it works is we're different colors…"

"Daddy!" Gloria shouted.

"Don't enterupt your father." Archie said never looking at his daughter, "Which ever is closer to the color black is the one who gets the more money, see? Cause black means death, in which they're the whadaya call moreing which means sadness, and the poor are sad. Sos darker people get more money sos they won't be sad or poor."

George frowned. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" he exclaimed, standing up from his seat, "I get more money cause I'm a better business owner!" this did not sit well with Archie; he too stood up from his seat as the two men began to argue and their wives tried to stop them.

Meanwhile the rest sat at the table watching the scene before them.

"Well," Gloria began "I guess Perry Como was right, 'There's no place like home for the holidays.'"

The others laughed some as the enjoyed their dinner and entertainment.

Later that night Archie and Edith were finally alone in their bedroom. Archie was already in bed and under the covers when Edith began to climb in.

"Well the kids are all tucked into their sheets and fast asleep, everyone else is gone, and we're alone." She said wrapping her arms around her husband.

"You got anything else to say Dr. Seuss?"

Edith laughed, "You did a good job with dinner."

Archie with a frown on his forehead looked at her, Edith noticed and so she continued. "Well for it being your first time." She said before kissing his cheek once, quickly but lovingly.

"Yeah, it's a good thing Hop Springs delivers huh?" he asked with a smirk.

Edith nodded before placing another kiss on Archie's cheek. "And you've done such a good job taking care of Stephy." Another quick peck only now on the lips, "And the house looks so clean." Another. "And you've helped us so muchwhile we're in California." She kissed him again.

By this time Archie figured out the pattern, "You know," he said looking at Edith through the corner of his eyes. "I opened the can of the cranberries."

Edith giggled as she recalled seeing the bow of cranberries on the table that was filled with Chinese food; still she kissed him for just a bit longer. They then relaxed in the embrace as Archie wrapped his arm around her.

"You know what I was thinking?" Edith asked smiling shyly.

"Wha?" Archie asked with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Maybe you could do Christmas dinner this year." She said smiling as her husbands face dropped.

Archie looked over at his wife not believing what he'd heard, hoping she was joking but when he saw her smiling he had a feeling she was very serious.

_**The End**_

_There you go. A bit long huh? I hope you enjoyed it. I felt bad about not having Mike there, but I hope George and Louise being there helped making up for it. And though they may have come out in this story it may not be the last one they appear in. Who knows. Hope you liked! Please let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading! Take Care! Happy Holidays! Bye!_


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